31 Days of femininity: A wife is feminine in her apparel
This is a tricky post to write, as every husband is different in how they want their wife to look. So I'll try to write in general terms.
There are two different types of femininity in how we dress. There is the sexual feminine, who dresses in extremely tight, low cut revealing tops, hip hugging jeans which hug every curve on her body, makeup heavily applied and an extremely fashionable hairstyle. No one can deny she is a female, the clothes she wears makes it obvious for everyone to see that! My heart goes out to ladies who don't know any better than to dress this way-especially the young girls who don this attire to mimic the latest movie star, or worst yet-their mother.
Then there is the classic feminine look, whether the female is in a pair of looser fitting pants and a nice blouse, a long skirt and top with a scarf thrown around her neck for an extra added touch, or a nice dress that fits her just so, not to tight and not to baggy. Her countenance is pleasant, with a cheery smile for those she is around, adding to her feminine look.
Finally, there are women who dress in such a way that you wonder if they even want to be a female. Their hair is cut to look like a man's, and the shirt they wear with their jeans is so manly and loose on them, you honestly can't tell by their figure from a distance what gender they really are.
Like I said, every husband is different. How your husband wants you to dress might vary from how my husband likes me to dress. Unless your husband is asking you to dress provocatly, as described in the sexual feminine, try to adorn yourself in such a way that will please him. You do need to remember that while we seek to please our husband in all we do, we also seek to please our Heavenly Father. There does come a point where you are within your rights as a Christian to say no to your husband if he is asking you to dress in such a manner that would be terribly offensive to God.
I frequently get emails from ladies asking my advice in a certain situation. It normally is along the lines of: "I really want to wear skirts, I think it is more feminine and modest but my husband just doesn't like seeing me in skirts. What should I do?"
To those ladies, my heart goes out to you. It is a difficult situation to be in. But honestly, as much I love to see ladies wearing skirts, it's not so important to ruin a marriage over this issue. Maybe you could ask your husband if you could compromise, and wear skirts when you are out alone running errands, and just a few days a week. If you are out with your husband on a date or running errands with him, slip the jeans and sweet top on to please him. My guess is if your husband likes seeing you in jeans, he prefers a more modern look. So make sure the skirts or dresses you have are modestly up to date (here is an example of a cute modern, but modest skirt), and you don't look like you just stepped out of the mid 1800's. Other men may prefer a long flowing prairie skirt, but don't feel like that is the only way to dress modestly. My husband personally does not prefer the prairie look, and wants me to look modern yet very modest.
The rule of thumb here? Ask your husband his opinion on clothes, and not just your best friends.
Regardless of how your husband prefers you to dress, it is important to keep your heart focused on being feminine. Don't fall for the lies that are prevalent today which whisper that we are the same as men, and therefore need to look so. Conducting yourself as a lady, and dressing to look like a lady are not signs of weakness, but rather of great strength as you feel confident in who you are - a daughter of the King!
What if your husband has no opinion at all? Be grateful that he does not care what you wear and seek to please God in how you dress! You are free then to follow the dictates of your heart if your husband truly does not care.
Finally, remember that our husband is bombarded all day long working out in the world. He is met with many images that he must resist, and many female attitudes that are wrong. As he walks in the door at night, what a refreshing sight it must be for him to be greeted by a wife who looks radiant in her spirit and looks.