Monday, October 10, 2011

31 Days of Femininity: Speaking words of love to our husband

How we speak to our husbands makes a strong impression. The words that come out of our lips have the ability to tear down our husband and his confidence in himself, or rather we can build him up with loving and encouraging words. We hold great, great power when it comes to this. I have seen first hand how I can tear down my husband and discourage him when I speak unkindly to him. The times I choose to respond in a positive tone, and cheer him along when he is discouraged, is of  help to him.  

As I considered this topic and what I would write, I asked myself some questions.

1. Do I speak to my husband as a child, scolding and correcting him as if I was his mother?

2. Do I share all of his faults with others, and give sighs and groans to all my friends concerning my husband?

I was at a garage sale recently looking at baby clothes. The wife was trying to help me put together the matching sets of clothes as her husband was loading the children up in the van to take them for donuts. Suddenly he called across the driveway to her, asking her if she wanted a donut. She was clearly annoyed, and informed him that she was busy, and no she did NOT want a donut. Then she bent down and sighed to me muttering "men!"

My heart went out to that man. Now we all have bad days where we mess up, but at that moment his wife was clearly not being a strength to her husband, despite his kindness to her at that moment.

How we speak to our husband clearly shows to him if we are feminine or not. Are we brash, bold, and unashamed over anything that comes out of our mouth? Do we like to be the center of the conversation when we get together with a group of friends? Or rather, do we value what our husband has to say, that we actually let him speak too (I know this is hard for some women as we are known for wanting to talk!) and we show appreciation for what he says. Are the words we say to him gentle and loving?

I'll be the first to say that I mess up. I don't always speak to my husband in a loving tone. But I find when I try hard to be sweet, gentle, and most of all respectful and attentive to what my husband is saying, our marriage flourishes and thrives.

To be a feminine wife is to be loving in our speech to our husband. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


**A Wise Woman Builds Her Home is giving away an item from The Modest Mom! Go here to enter.**

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At October 10, 2011 at 10:42 AM , Anonymous deborah said...

Very well said! I want to be a blessing to my husband. I definitely fail, but I so agree to what a gracious and kind attitude can do and show. My husband is my best friend and I am so thankful for him. Unfortunately, it can be so easy to take him for granted or treat him unkindly without stopping to think. Thanks for the encouragement.

At October 10, 2011 at 12:07 PM , Blogger Mary Joy said...

So, so true! Thank you so much for the great reminder. This is an area that I am really working on in my relationship with my husband. Speaking life instead of death...and not talking too much and letting him have his time to shine with our friends. God has done a lot of work on me...but I am still a work in progress. As God has been working on me and changes have been happening in the way I speak to him...its been such a blessing on our relationship.

Thanks again for the reminder!


Mrs Mary Joy Pershing

At October 10, 2011 at 12:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you don't mind, I am going to copy and print out all theses posts from 31 Days of Femininity and put them in a book, for reference for when I get marred, or even when I am just feeling like I have been slipping in my pursuit of femininity.
~Heather Joy

At October 10, 2011 at 10:03 PM , Blogger Georgia said...

Love this. Just found your series, and I love the idea of femininity for our husbands! I will be following along!

At October 11, 2011 at 8:41 AM , Blogger Jennifer said...

I was reading a blog post the other day, about days when you are at your wits end and all you can offer up as a prayer is "Lord, please help me not freak out." One of the commenters mentioned that for her, on those days, her prayer when speaking with/to/about her husband is "Lord, please keep my mouth shut." I think in being good wives to our husbands, that is sometimes one of the most important things we can ask the Lord to help us with.

At October 12, 2011 at 10:54 AM , Blogger Tiffany said...

This is such a great post! Many wives have absolutely no idea that their attitude towards their husband can really bring down their marriage. My husband and I (who I affectionately call the Hubs on the blog) made a decision before we got married that I'd never tear him down or criticize him in public. If I have a problem with him or something he's doing, we address it later. And in return, he treats me wonderfully. I see so many women fussing or yelling at their husbands in front of their friends and family and it's embarrassing! For the husband and for the others who are seeing it happen! Not to mention that it's a terrible example to set for their children.

Anyways, all of that said... wonderful post! =) I'm glad I stumbled across your blog.

At October 22, 2011 at 11:15 PM , Anonymous Sariah Fouladi said...

Thank you for reminding me to respect my husband and how powerful our WORDS are to our husbands!

At December 2, 2011 at 5:42 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

You are so right about this!

Words that are sweet, gentle, and most of all respectful and attentive do help a marriage to flourish in many ways.

However I also agree with: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you... meaning I 'would have' husbands choose words that are sweet, gentle, and most of all respectful and attentive too. (So I don't exactly see those things as uniquely feminine ways of speaking. They are just plain good ways of speaking to each other in marriage.)


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