Titus 2 Series: Being Chaste In Marriage
Today, six friends and I are writing a series based on the biblical principles taken from Titus 2:3-5. We pray that the topics discussed will inspire and encourage you to draw closer to God and His plan for womanhood. This is my small part of the conversation, being chaste in marriage.
2. Free from obscenity. While they behold your chaste conversation.
3. In language, pure; genuine; uncorrupt; free from barbarous words and phrases, and from quaint, affected, extravagant expressions.
Definition from Websters 1828 Dictionary.
For married ladies, being chaste is probably not something you think much about. The focus in the Christian (and non Christian community to an extent) is staying sexually pure before marriage. After marriage you find books and messages on keeping your marriage strong and divorce proof, which of course always includes sections on affairs and such. Normally the road leading to an affair is step by step, one little thing at a time.
Titus 2 talks about teaching the young woman to love their husbands, and to be chaste. I find it interesting that we actually need to be taught about these things. While we profess to be madly in love with our husbands when we marry them, as time goes on, love becomes more of a choice, and being chaste in our marriage does as well.
I'm sure many of us would never dream of being unfaithful in our marriage. But what about the little things? How many of us struggle with day dreams, bitterness, wondering eyes, etc?
In order to make and keep a marriage strong, you need to make conscious decisions about how you are going to accomplish that. Here are some ways I work on staying chaste in my marriage.
1. I shield my eyes from other men. Much is written about how men constantly are bombarded and tempted by pictures and beautiful women that walk by. But women are not above being tempted by a handsome man! My mother taught me from my youth up to look away if a man is walking by with his shirt off. A young, handsome, buff man can most certainly be a temptation to a woman struggling in her marriage or in her thought life. When shopping for my husband in department stores, I avoid the large posters of men dressed in nothing but underwear, the same way my husband avoids walking by the lingerie section. We just can't be too careful.
2. Don't fantasize about movie stars, popular singers, etc. Much can be said about the TV and music we watch and listen to. That is a whole different post in itself! We are very conservative in our taste of movies and music. My husband and I both enjoy watching Jane Austin movies together (yes, I'm blessed to have a husband who will watch "chic flicks" with me!). But I don't go around daydreaming about Colin Firth, looking up his pictures online, or putting movie stars on my Pinterest page. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that a man or woman is handsome or beautiful. But that is where it needs to start and stop. Fantasizing about a man is not staying chaste in your marriage.
3. Don't become too familiar with other men. While my husband and I have very close friends at church, you won't find me having long, heart to heart discussions with other men at church, no matter how close I am to their families. Nothing connects a woman closer to a man than having a listening ear from him. Keep your intimate and personal talks for your husband alone.
4. I avoid hugging of any form with a man. I know some Christians are in favor of the "Holy Kiss" practice, but I am firmly opposed to physical contact with men other than my husband. It easily leads to problems - I feel especially on the man's part. There are certain men that my sister and I have discerned throughout the years that we need to just avoid, and generally we have never been proven wrong in those feelings.
5. Most importantly, pray fervently if you are feeling tempted, or just bitter and weary in your marriage. The last few years has brought trials for our family, including the divorce of my husband's parents. Going through that trial with my husband and in-laws has shown me that you cannot be too careful with keeping chastity strong in your marriage. I have prayed for my marriage like I never have before, as I don't want temptations to enter in either of our hearts. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband and we have a strong, loving marriage.
In closing, I would just encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus, and your heart securely nestled close to your husband! Cleave to the both of them with all of your heart!
Please join the following ladies as they share their heart with you on each individual "Titus 2" topic.
A Wise Woman Builds Her House - Being Sober
Far Above Rubies - Keeper at Home
Raising Mighty Arrows - Being Discreet
Cultivating Home - Loving Your Children
The Legacy of Home - Being Obedient to Your Husband
Simple Country Life - Loving Your Husbands