Friday, June 24, 2011

How To Spiritually Survive Morning Sickness In Pregnancy

Minutes after the birth of our fourth child

I am thankfully nearing the end of my morning sickness! I'm 13 weeks and it *normally* stops at 13 to 14 weeks, but then nothing has been normal about this pregnancy so we will see.

I've had morning sickness to one degree or another with all five of my pregnancies. Most of the time it's been difficult to endure, my first was probably my easiest. I only remember throwing up a couple of times with that pregnancy.

What I've learned is that while you are going through it, you feel like it will never end.

Seriously.

I've been dealing with morning sickness for almost 7 weeks now, and let me tell you it feels like it has been much, much longer than that. The days drag on and the nights are long. With this pregnancy I lay there trying not to despair, and fighting against feelings of guilt that I had to wean my 16 month old because my milk dried up and I couldn't nurse through the extreme fatigue I was experiencing. I felt guilty because I wasn't there for my children, my mother in law and sister were tending to their needs. My house fell apart, our food budget sky rocketed, and my husband's patience was tested as he was sent to the store on every little whim I had.

Spiritually it is a battle. I have learned that every pregnancy will test me spiritually, as they are difficult. I fight fears concerning labour, fears concerning hoping the baby will healthy, fears concerning how will I be able to handle ___ amount of children after this baby comes. I'll be honest with you and say when I'm going through the worst time of morning sickness, I wonder why did I ever want another baby. This is WAY to hard, I just want to lay here and shrivel up and die.

What helped me tremendously this time was a scripture verse found on the "31 Days to Clean" printout that I had hanging on my refrigerator. Before I found out I was pregnant I was doing the challenge. That came to a screeching halt as morning sickness discovered me at 6 weeks, but the challenge still remained in hopes I could resume it at a later date. There is a scripture verse at the bottom that stood out to me, and I said this scripture verse to myself daily.

"For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." Jeremiah 31:25

I was weary, and I was languishing - every minute of every day. But I clung to the hope that came from that verse. The Lord would satisfy my needs, and refresh me. That verse pulled me out of despair many times, and gave me new strength to make it through the next hour.

Strength also came from thinking of people who are chronically sick and lay in bed for months and years at a time with no hope of relief coming. At least I did have hope that at some point the morning sickness would go away. I remembered my Mom, and how she endured Lupus, Chronic Fatigue, and Epilepsy for many years of her life. The only time I remember her going through an extended period of despair over her illness was the first year she was diagnosed with Lupus. It left her so sick and fatigued she would lay on the couch or in bed for months at a time. Those were dark days for our family. But through that struggle, I watched my mother eventually submit, and learn to trust the Lord in a way that she had never been asked to do before. She came to be cheerful, and happy in the midst of carrying this heavy burden on her back for years.

I also surrounded myself with people who would encourage me. We purposefully did not tell anyone that might not welcome this pregnancy with excitement until I had gotten through the worst of my sickness. Emotionally I just couldn't handle the negative comments that might come. Our church family was told, and I had many, many prayers said for me. I also had offers of help, and one woman from church came one day and brought me lots of groceries, and stayed all afternoon to do the dishes and visit with the children. I texted, emailed and called my midwife who gave me great encouragement even though she just had given birth to a new baby herself! When you are going through severe morning sickness, the last thing you need are negative comments, or people telling you that you are nuts to be pregnant a fifth (or ninth, or ___ ) time.

I do not look back in reflection and say I mastered the art of submitting to the Lord through trials, and that next time I will be perfectly at peace. Life is a refining process, and I'm still being refined. :) But I am grateful for the lessons I have learned, and hope to cling to them the rest of this pregnancy.

Next week-How To Physically Survive Morning Sickness


*Have you visited The Bulk Herb Store? It has excellent resources available to help you through pregnancy, breastfeeding, and beyond! I have learned a lot just reading through the articles on the website, and the pregnancy tea I ordered is the best I have ever tasted! I actually like it, and that is saying a lot since I don't like tea of any sort!

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31 Comments:

At June 24, 2011 at 9:18 AM , Blogger Alzbeta said...

I was sick for all 7.5 months of my last pregnancy. Being that miserable again is one my biggest fears for future pregnancies, right after having another preemie. I have been preparing myself physically in hopes that if I should happen to be that sick again I can ask and receive help: something I didn't do enough the first time. Thank you for the encouragement to prepare myself spiritually as well :).

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:22 AM , Blogger famof8 said...

I so feel your pain! We have 6 children so far and for each of them I have had hyperemesis the entire 9 months..usually it goes away about 24 -48 hours after the baby is born. Like you, I can honeslty say that when I am in the midst of it, I wonder what in the world were we thinking! But the ending...is so very worth every minute!!!

We are praying for a 7th blessing now, and I am also praying for relief when the morning/afternoon/evening/and through the night sickness comes! When I say I have tried everything...I have tried everything! :) Sometimes I get relief for a bit, sometimes I don't...

Stay strong my friend! Prayers for you and your family!!!

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:23 AM , Blogger famof8 said...

PS~ I LOVE the Bulk herb store!!! It's the first place I go for my families herbal needs!!!

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:25 AM , Anonymous Amy @ Raising Arrows said...

Caroline,
The morning sickness is the part of pregnancy that tests me the most. Persevering through it is a testimony in and of itself. So thankful you are hitting the final stretch. I've been praying for you.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:30 AM , Anonymous Far Above Rubies said...

Caroline, what a wonderful verse. Another favorite is Psalm 61:2.

I understand your feelings; keep strong, friend.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:39 AM , Anonymous Ann said...

I looked at it as a message, since I had problems with some of my pregnancies. It's too early to feel anything, so it was a sign that this time, everything was ok. After all, not long after the nausea subsides is when you feel those flutters of life. So until that time, it was just a message of "your body is still working right, this is your sign, your notice, your message". I didn't physically feel better but it really helped make it more bearable.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:50 AM , Blogger Mrs. David Hankins said...

It's not just me! This is such an encouraging post...knowing that I'm not the only one who thinks this way...struggles like this...has to fight to cling to God in those challenging times. I know we all go through these things, but we don't always communicate them with such honesty and transparency. Thank you! I'm sure this will bless many women! :)

Warmly,
Elizabeth

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:59 AM , Blogger Caroline @ The Modest Mom said...

@ Elizabeth,

I hesitated in being so open as I didn't want anyone to think I'm not excited about having this baby. As soon as the morning sickness lighted up a little, I told my husband I had fallen completely in love with this baby. ;) But I knew I couldn't be the only one who struggles through morning sickness like this, and wanted to share so other women would know they aren't alone!

 
At June 24, 2011 at 9:59 AM , Blogger Caroline @ The Modest Mom said...

Oops, I meant lightened up!

 
At June 24, 2011 at 10:23 AM , Blogger *Mirage* said...

Aww hon I've been there with you! I keep being awakened in the morning by bright chipper kids needing my attention and I'd lay there for a few seconds trying to to cry at the thought of another sick exhausted day and just repeat Lamentations 3:20-24 and say a little prayer for grace to make it through this day. One day at a time. It's not over but it seems a little better. Just a little. But I'll take it! ;)
**HUGS**

~*~
Lamentations 3:20-24 (with my thoughts in perentheses as I pray through this regarding the challenges of pregnancy)

(As I wake up)My soul still remembers (the challenges I will be likely facing again today)
And sinks within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed (by the morning sickness, fatigue, etc!),
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning (even the sick mornings, and evenings!);
Great is Your faithfulness.
“ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him! (Hope for a healthy pregnancy, a healthy baby, and the grace to make it through the tough days!)”
~*~

 
At June 24, 2011 at 10:31 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post! I have two young children, so far, and had morning/all day sickness with both. My first lasted the entire pregnancy and I had to take medication for it. Very minimal doses, but necessary ones! My 2nd child, I was curled up on the floor unable to move before I admitted that I once again needed meds (diclectin). Thankfully with that pregnancy, I was able to completely go off of them at 14wks! PTL!

I hope you feel better soon. Morning sickness is hard. :/

 
At June 24, 2011 at 11:02 AM , Anonymous PJL said...

I appreciate this wonderful place in A Modest Mom. Thanks for sharing your heart(s). For my morning sickness, i just keep Perrier water around or something akin to it. Everyone is so different and can have for the entire pregnancy , others, none, but, we can all have sympathy, Hugs to all you gals. PJ

 
At June 24, 2011 at 11:38 AM , Anonymous Anne S. said...

This post really hits close to home as I've been very sick (all day, not just morning) with every single one of my 6 pregnancies. There is the consolation after you've done it a few times of having children who are older and better able to help you. With this pregnancy, for the first time, I could lay quietly in bed a little longer in the mornings while my 7 and 8 year old fixed themselves cereal. What a difference small things like that made! They would even bring me some dry cereal to eat before rising and a sip of cold Sprite.

I've discovered more and more that diet has a lot to do with morning sickness, especially after reading a great book called Managing Morning Sickness by Marilyn Shannon. Making a conscious effort to keep my blood sugar levels steady during this pregnancy made a noticeable difference, as did taking B-complex (not just B6 alone) faithfully. For the very time in 10 years of pregnancies, I never did throw up, and the morning sickness was gone by 12 weeks. Usually it's 20 weeks or more for me.

I'm 34 weeks now and eagerly anticipating our new arrival in August.

Hang in there, Caroline! Thank you for being so eloquent and honest. Praying for you as always.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 11:48 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so so much for this post! I am a few days away from the beginning of morning sickness - 5 long dark months. Although it is so hard for my house to fall apart, what I miss most is the Lord. It feels like my spiritual journey has to go on hold too. I'm certainly praying (begging?) alot, but all my receivers shut down, it seems. Sermons are dry. Praise and worship seems trite.

I, too, often think of those with chronic conditions - all of the pain, none of the hope and blessing and purpose that I have and that does help me keep life in perspective.

With this pregnancy (#6), I seem to be much more protective of my news. I feel quite guilty for putting my husband and oldest daughter through this trial,and I feel guilty for the poor mothering that will come in the next 6 months. I don't want to hear anyone ask "how are you?", because the answer is always depressing and unchanging.

On the one hand, I would welcome help. Especially a teenage girl that could just clean the floors and toilets once a week. But on the other hand, I just don't want to admit that I have "done" this again to my family. I even feel guilty going to the doctor with my 5 kids in tow, when any other day of the year I am proud of them and content with my beautiful family, and encouraging others to consider the joys of motherhood. I had a (new) practitioner ask if I was planning to continue the pregnancy. Sigh.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 12:09 PM , Blogger Caroline @ The Modest Mom said...

@ anonymous,

((hugs)) I so feel your pain! This was the first pregnancy that I didn't really want to share the news, as I knew that some people would think we are NUTS for having a fifth child! I don't want to be viewed as a "breeding rabbit" just continually pumping out children. Each child is special and a gift from God, and I can't imagine life without any of my children! It's just hard to admit that just because it's our fifth or sixth pregnancy, we need help still, and it's ok. I would try to find someone that you could have come in your home and help, and not feel guilty about it. We paid some Mother's helpers to come once and clean floors and scrub toilets. A girl from church offered to come and spent almost all day catching up on all my dirty dishes! Paper plates are a must!! I will be thinking of you.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 1:17 PM , Blogger Rebekah said...

I was so thankful to read this today. I am in the throws of morning sickness as well. I feel so unreliable, worthless, neglectful, alone sometimes. I have hyperemesis as well. There comes a point around week 7 where my body is just so worn out, it makes me dizzy just to walk through the house. Then there are constant smells that trigger more gifts to the porcelain god. Then you get comments like 'how dare you put your family through this again', as if you deviously plotted to make your family suffer for nine months, and sadistically chose a method of torture that would include yourself throwing up 15 to 20 times a day in order to conceal your own malicious intent. And then you lay down to rest, and remember that God loves you and that precious one inside. That He planned it all and is guiding with His strong arm that you can lean on. That His strength is made perfect in my weakness. That it isn't a bad thing for my children to feel indispensable in the running of the daily home, you see the gleam in their eyes when they've accomplished something 'grown up,' like making toast for their siblings. Then you begin to count your blessings again, and review all God's goodness toward you. Thank you for your honesty and eloquence.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 1:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you sweet sister! I have been overcoming some of those same feelings. Although this is my first I went from being completely healthy and active to exausted and sick, for the first three months (I lost 6lbs in 3days at one point)- followed by bed rest for severe round ligament pain (who knew that exisited right?) The food budget went up as I was physically barely able to move and husband went from being completely taken care of to taking care of himself and I. I praise God though because through it all He has truly shown me more of His heart for those suffering and has taught me humility beyond belief. There is a light and a wonderful miracle to be had though our type of suffering! I just finished month 6 and my body is slowly and surely allowing more activity (I can grocery shop!). God is faithful and He will never forsake His children! Embrace the help He sends to you and do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself! <3 Love in Christ

 
At June 24, 2011 at 1:34 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drink Lots of raspberry tea throughout your pregnancy it is really good tasting and really good for your body physically as well.It helps with lots of symptoms as well it tones the uterus and helps for a less painful delivery. I have had 2 natural home births and found out about all the great benefits of raspberry tea with my most recent and it really helped A LOT. Also i buy my herbs in bulk and mix my own pregnancy/anything i need tea myself much cheaper and you can mix and match.

 
At June 24, 2011 at 2:43 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been dealing with early pregnancy sickness as well. I am 14 weeks now (this is my second pregnancy) and feel as if I am finally seeing the light. I was never sick while pregnant with my daughter so this is all new for me. I can relate to the way you say your household has been. Our food budget has been crazy the last month or two and I finally feel like I am at a place to bring it back together. I hope you feel better soon!!

 
At June 24, 2011 at 2:45 PM , Blogger Jacomina Rizzardi said...

Caroline--and all the other ladies who have commented here that they are going through this struggle--I wish I could give you a hug and do whatever needs to be done at your house <3

I had hyperemesis with both of my children (until about 26 weeks with my first and right up to labor with my second) and I know that the reality is that if the Lord blesses me with more children I'm likely to have it again. I really, truly understand the depths of despair in severe morning sickness...it becomes not a matter of surviving one more day, but rather one more hour, and the minutes seem to pass so very slowly.

But it was in the depths of despair that I called out to the Lord, ending a 10-year "backslide" in which I had turned away from Him...for me, morning sickness was my spiritual reawakening.

His grace is sufficient, and his strength is made perfect in weakness :) Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you <3 (2 Cor 12, Ps 55)

 
At June 24, 2011 at 8:05 PM , Blogger Eve | Inchworm Chronicles said...

I pray your sickness eases soon and that your receive the strength to continue bearing it with patience. Thank you for being so honest about your experiences; it really is such an encouragement to the rest of us "real" mothers of young children! I look forward to reading the tips you've learned on the next post.

P.s. I second the B vitamin complex and red raspberry leaf...it made a world of difference for me in my fourth pregnancy. Not everyone reacts the same. It's worth a try for those who are in the throes, you know!

 
At June 24, 2011 at 10:56 PM , Blogger Joy said...

Dear Caroline,

I feel like I'm echoing other comments here, but thank you so much for sharing your heart so openly!

Morning sickness is such a difficult thing to go through. I have suffered with hyperemesis with all five of my pregnancies, and it is so hard, especially when you have other little children to care for.

Just in case it might encourage someone, I wrote about my experiences with morning sickness here:
http://gracefulwordsblog.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-morning-sickness-story.html

I know morning sickness is so hard to go through, but those precious babies are so worth it all! I pray that you're feeling better and better each day!

 
At June 25, 2011 at 6:42 AM , Blogger Emy said...

I had morning sickness almost my whole pregnancy both times and it was awful... I wish I had read this post back then! :-)

It is really hard to focus on anything and to be happy when you throw up everytime you move. I remember trying to be a heroine and getting off to work, only to run to the bathroom every now and then... But for me acupuncture was a blessing. It really worked, I could move and even take short walks without throwing up in the bushes (as I did a week earlier, uuuh) and I could now open the fridge to get my self a snack (another thing that was impossible just a week earlier). So if you are lucky like I was your midwife can give you acupuncture (it took about three times for it to really start working)! It really worked! (much better than those prescribed meds)

I hope you'll feel better soon and that the rest of your pregnancy will be easy.

(as for myself my sickness ended at about 30 weeks but then I got SPD instead ;-), but somehow that was better then the sickness, pain is easier to deal with...)

Blessings

 
At June 25, 2011 at 7:00 AM , Anonymous Elizabeth said...

My last pregnancy was the worst for morning sickness. I really did think I was going to die! haha It was the normal time frame of morning sickness but I was in bed for most of time. It was really hard to not feel guilty with the other 7 mostly tending themselves and my husband at work. I'm praying that the next time I get pregnant it will not be so rough. But if it is, I will use the tools I've learned and enlist a helping hand from family and friends. Something I didn't do this last time round. Great post!

 
At June 27, 2011 at 7:31 AM , Anonymous Gabe said...

Great post! I've been so sick (hyperemesis) with all seven of my babies (our #7 is due in less then 2 months)! We now always know that those first few months are going to be such a struggle and a battle, but each and every one of those sweet babies are worth it!
I'm interested to see what you post about for physically surviving. Over the years I've found that my diet (vitamins too) and level of exercise play a HUGE role in how I feel through the morning sickness.

 
At June 29, 2011 at 2:02 PM , Blogger Mrs Mary Joy Pershing said...

Caroline,

I am praying for you sweet friend. I know this is hard to go through...so glad that you are beginning to feel better. Thank you for being so open about what you are going through...your authenticity is one of the things that I love about you and your writing!

You are inspiring women to be more open with who they really are and what they really go through. We can encourage one another through our "realness of life" instead of pretending that everything is always tied up in ribbons.

God bless you sister and your hubby and all of your littles!!!

Dancing at the foot of the Cross,

Mrs Mary Joy Pershing

 
At July 4, 2011 at 4:51 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

Well when I was pregnant w/our second and third (twins), our last. I was put on bedrest for 5 1/2 months. My HUSBAND stepped up and took care of our daughter. We didn't need to hire someone else, he did it himself. He cooked. cleaned, did laundry etc.

Put your husband to work Caroline :-).

 
At July 4, 2011 at 8:16 AM , Blogger Caroline @ The Modest Mom said...

Dannielle,

That's great that your husband was able to help so much! I personally don't know of any man who is able to take that much time off of his job to help out for several months. My husband is self employed, so if he doesn't go to work, we don't eat. :) I was also sick during the busiest time of his work. He came home every night and tended to the children, and did all he could, but I never expected him to be able to stay home full time with the children. Since we have little children, I had to have help during the day as well. I am SO grateful for the help and support my husband was able to give me!!

 
At July 6, 2011 at 10:12 AM , Blogger Ash said...

I just read this today, and it prompted a round of soul-cleansing sobs in me. I'm going into my 6th week of all-day sickness, and my second week of constant dull headaches while I try to parent my 6, 4 and 2yo. I feel like *such* a failure today, and the next few weeks look so very bleak to me. Just hearing that someone else understands really, really helps. <3

At this point, I always forget that there even IS a baby, and I'd willingly go through labor twice in order to avoid feeling this way. :P This baby wasn't "planned", and we'd hoped to stop at three just to avoid what we're going through right now...it makes me feel like such a baby to admit it. I'm a birth educator/labor support person, and I love birth; all-day nausea, however, makes my knees buckle beneath me.

Thank you so much for your beautiful post, and I look forward to reading your post about getting through the physical issues.

 
At February 23, 2012 at 10:40 AM , Blogger Rebecca said...

I've read several posts from ladies who feel like concealing their pregnancies for awhile to avoid the eye rolls and disparaging comments from friends and family because they're pregnant with #4 or #5 or more. I can completely relate.. when I found out I was pregnant with my fifth child (fourth living - we had a 39 wk stillbirth several years ago)I felt the reluctant congratulations from my family from 1200 miles away. For me, carrying the children has been a complete joy - it was the deliveries that were especially horrific. I had only one delivery that was uncomplicated. But that never deterred me from wanting more children. I've always wanted a big family and I was overjoyed upon learning of each pregnancy. My husband feels the same way. My family doesn't handle well the stress of complications during birth. Between that and the fact that we don't make as much money as my sister's husband does, they indirectly tell me that I have enough children. I feel differently. God has provided ALL of our needs thus far - why would He stop because we add another precious little soul to our quiver, when He is the Creator of all that lives?

I appreciate the original post too.. I sat with tears in my eyes reading it.. thank you for sharing those encouraging words. I never really thought about submitting to God during times of pain or illness, not the way you described.. God spoke to me about that and I plan to dig a little deeper into His word to study this subject.

Rebecca

 
At March 18, 2012 at 9:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 6 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. I too can so relate with all these women dealing with morning sickness. This was definitely a surprise for us. My husband and I have both decided to not tell our other children about this pregnancy, due to previous miscarriages. They do see me sick and I just wonder how long we will keep from them. The crazy thing is it was in March 2010 and March 2011 when I was pregnant and miscarried. Now again in March I am pregnant in 2012. Really hoping and praying I will be able to carry this baby to full term! I keeep asking my husband what are we going to do for the next 5 or so weeks? He is amazing husband and father, he says we can do anything for 4 weeks! I do homeschool my two youngest kindergarten and first grade not sure how we will get through the rest of the year with me dealing with morning, all day sickness.

 

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