Thursday, January 12, 2012

Musings on a Newborn and Her Creator

Carrianna holding Deborah

Holding a newborn in my arms stirs up a depth of emotions within me. The deepest love a mother can feel as I gaze on my newest child fresh from heaven.

I wonder if she just sang with the angels mere days ago?

Did she bid my mother goodbye before coming here?

Who knows what happens before her arriving here on earth, a fresh and innocent child?

Thoughts of her future swirl through my head as I dream of all the joys and trials that might be hers. Will she be a mother one day herself? Will she know persecution such as we haven't known for taking on the name of Christ? What will be her lot?

All the while, as she lay in my arms, I ponder her utter dependence upon me for survival. This realization, strangely, makes me feel helpless and weak. What if I fail her? I can keep her in clean clothes, dry diapers, hold her as she sleeps, and nurse her as much as she needs....but beyond that, what can I do? Her tiny body seems so fragile and frail and I'm reminded once again that the Lord holds her in His hands. He ultimately is in charge and will nourish and give her the breath of life to grow. I'm a mere instrument here being used by God to raise this handmaiden of His. Oh Lord! give me strength to do my task and finish well.

My voice calms her, soothes her when she cries. And I wonder . . . do I let the spirit of God sooth me like that? Am I close enough to Him that I am receptive to His gentle touch in my life?

We are all like newborns, weak, hungry, dirty, tired.

Only through the grace of God are we made strong, full, clean, and alive.

Today I am renewed again to draw close to my Maker, for he is my sustainer. The giver of all things good; the comforter during the trials he sends to those He loves.

God is Great. 

God is Good. 

And today I feel unworthy and humbled by the thought of these things. 

That's what having a newborn does to you - it draws you to the feet of God begging for strength to endure the mighty tasks that lie before you. It is there that you realize that every small breath your daughter takes is in his hand, and that her life is every moment sustained by Him. And you? You must love her as God loves her, though not near so capable to provide her every need.

In the end, though, even this love that you give is not your own - He loved her first.



At January 12, 2012 at 10:21 AM , Blogger Loved by an almighty God, Lena said...

I have a 6 month old and as I read your words it brings tears to my eyes remembering when he was first born. The love that I first had for him. It was so strong from the beginning and only gets stronger every morning. Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward wvery day to read about your journey. you are in my thoughts and prayers on thius day.
Sister in Christ,

At January 12, 2012 at 11:58 AM , Blogger RebeccaL. said...

It looks like the baby is smiling. :)

At January 12, 2012 at 11:40 PM , Blogger Cassandra said...

Such a sweet post!! Thanks for sharing. :) :)


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