Thursday, December 15, 2011

Mothering through dreary days



I was a young mother of 21. After a long and difficult pregnancy, our second son was born being welcomed into the world by his older brother who was a few weeks away from turning two. Life was busy and it should have been a very happy time in my life. I had dreamed of marriage and children all my life and here it was all coming to pass.

As I was conversing with Israel (our second son) last night, he was asking questions about when he was a baby. And my mind flashed back to what life was really like.

 It was anything but roses.

I was suffering from adrenal gland fatigue-something most people around me had never even heard of. I simply had the tired mother look, but nothing to make people aware of the fact that inside I was crumbling. The fatigue was so overwhelming, there were days I didn't know how I could make it until my husband arrived home. Almost every night I would be in bed around 8:00 nursing Israel to sleep so I could go to bed, while my husband put our oldest son to bed.


Life did not look pretty. My memories of Israel as a baby are blurred. I honestly remember more of the exhaustion, the depressed feelings that came from being so tired, and wondering if life would ever be normal again. Israel spit up pretty bad as a baby, and there was spit up that sat dried and crusted on our dresser for over a year, because I was too exhausted to clean it up. The bare essentials were done and nothing more around our house.

Six years later I now have more energy as a mother of almost five than I did as a mother of two. Life does not look nearly so dreary and exhausting-though I still have my days of feeling overwhelmed as I think every mother does! Occasionally, some symptoms of adrenal problems will creep up, as it takes a lot to be totally healed of low adrenals. There are still certain chores I put off doing, such as getting on my hands and knees and scrubbing my floors as it wears me out. But overall I am content with the energy I do have-as I know what life could be like if I had never improved. 

Mothering through dreary days, whether it is physical health or traumatic family problems is taxing. Trying to keep a smile on your face when all you want is a nap and a good cry is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I learned that the Lord gives grace, and He truly never does give us more trials than what we can handle.

If you are a mother who can relate to this post - you are exhausted inside whether physically or emotionally, I encourage you to just keep going. Get through today only and try not to think about tomorrow. The Lord will give you the strength to endure and many times the situation you are in will get better. Be determined to press on through your trial, looking to our Lord for the perseverance you need. My deep convictions and hopes in being a godly mother and wife helped get me through when I felt I couldn't go on. I knew I didn't have a choice. We only have two paths before us-we can endure or give up. No one wants to give up, and if you are holding a baby in your arms the results of giving up are unthinkable. 


"I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my doings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God; many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3


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23 Comments:

At December 15, 2011 at 9:20 AM , Blogger WilxFamily said...

Sooo needed that nugget of encouragement today!

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:25 AM , Blogger SewJacki said...

I have two little ones that are the same age difference at the ones in this post! I was 20 when our oldest was born and our 2nd was born about 1 month before she turned two (on my 22nd birthday actually). I went through the same thing..but I have heard that adding the 2nd child is actually harder than adding a 3rd or 4th. We are enjoying our days now and hoping to add another one! God Bless.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:25 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

While I don't suffer from low adrenials, (at least I haven't been diagnosed) I am currently going through many of the same things that you discussed. Sometimes a good cry feels like a million bucks! Thank you for sharing this - I think most moms feel this way but don't dare share it. Thanks for your courage!

Nicole
craftysoprano@comcast.net

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:30 AM , Anonymous Amy said...

I have to deal with a similar issue and take medicine daily but just these last few weeks I ran out making the symptoms unbearable again...It was only the Lords strength and the sweet prayers of my little children that help mommy get through the day with out collapsing on the floor. It is really amazing to recognize our weakness, it hurts some and it is humbling BUT so rewarding to allow GOD's power work through you. I had to focus on loving my kids and making sure they were fed and happy putting the other thing on hold until I was able to do more! Today I got to start my medicine again...I am happy for that but greatful for God's love, strength and grace! Mommy's don't give up, rest in him and give it to GOD! He loves you and your little ones, it will all be well. :D

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:34 AM , Blogger A Restful Place said...

I needed this today! Thankyou!

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:40 AM , Blogger Mrs. H said...

Thank you, I needed to hear this today. God bless.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:44 AM , Anonymous Hannah said...

Thank you. Life is hard right now I am trying to make it through with prayer. I know life will get better. I just have to keep the faith and keep trudging.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:50 AM , Blogger Julie said...

I can relate. I battled auto immune issues and depression during (and following) my last pregnancy 2 yrs ago. The Lord healed me of the health issues (every symptom, including exteme fatigue, disappeared in a matter of a few days!), but I had to battle through the depression (by the grace of God, it is now gone too).

Motherhood is NOT always easy. In fact, it is seldom if ever "easy". But it is always worth it! And we are truly never alone, not even in the darkest battles.

Thanks so much for posting this. I'm going to share your link with a few mama friends who are going through a dark season right now. It is so encouraging to hear from someone else who has "been there"... and overcome with the Lord's help!

 
At December 15, 2011 at 9:55 AM , Blogger Dawn said...

I so agree. The birth of my 2nd was much harder on me and I too well-remember those exhausted days. In a month we will welcome our fifth and I do not expect to feel the same sense of tiredness. Thank you for such an encouraging post!
Dawn

 
At December 15, 2011 at 10:04 AM , Anonymous Vivian Miller said...

Thank you so much for this post , I needed it

 
At December 15, 2011 at 10:52 AM , Blogger Far Above Rubies said...

Beautifully put, Caroline. I do know about depleted adrenal glands. It's extremely exhausting and taxing on the body.

I'm so happy to see and hear your joy.

Thinking and praying for you as time draws near.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 10:55 AM , Anonymous Kristina said...

I needed to read this today. I have a 5 year old and a 13 month old while being 9 months pregnant.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 11:22 AM , Anonymous Allison said...

Thank you for the post. Very timely for me.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 11:24 AM , Anonymous Terri said...

I, too, was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue. The exhaustion that comes from that is not something that anyone can understand unless they have been there themselves. Thank you for reminding me that it is something that takes a long time to heal. :) I feel so much better after a year, that I forget to patiently take care of myself while taking care of my family.

The one thing that I so poignantly learned through those years of fatigue and my autonomic system shutting down was the God is my strength. He gives me just what I need for just that moment. It taught me to depend 100% upon Him. And He always provided what I needed at just the right moment. His name is to be praised. :)

 
At December 15, 2011 at 1:18 PM , Blogger Kasey said...

3 under 3, and my husband has to work late tonight, but we are so blessed even if we are tired : )

 
At December 15, 2011 at 1:31 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

Thank you so much for sharing. Because of your other posts I looked into and was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue as well. This post was very timely as I am having a very hard day physically. Thanks for the reminder to take care of myself, take one day at a time, and keep focused on the Lord.
May God bless your family as your new little one arrives!

 
At December 15, 2011 at 2:39 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have adrenal fatigue syndrome. The Lord has blessed us with a 5 year old, 2 year old and a 3 month old. I understand what you went through. I love my children very much and hope to have many more. I have to say that adding number 3 to our family has been the hardest. She spits up alot(acid reflux). I was wondering what you did to help your adrenals? Thanks
God bless

 
At December 15, 2011 at 2:41 PM , Blogger Mrs. Stam said...

Your story is so similar to our, Yes I was a bit older then 21 when I got pregnant and and we did have 3 babies 18 month apart and am now expecting our fourth and that blurry tired thing you have talked about, well have experienced it on and off in the past couple years.

But God as been so gracious all this time

 
At December 15, 2011 at 3:43 PM , Blogger Jolene said...

How has your Adrenal Fatigue been treated? What has worked the most/best for you?

 
At December 15, 2011 at 3:50 PM , Blogger Caroline @ The Modest Mom said...

Jolene,

If you click on the link above in the post where it says adrenal fatigue it will take you to part one of my adrenal fatigue story, or just google adrenal fatigue on my blog and you will find the posts. I ended up taking cortef, a medicine that supplemented the cortisol that my adrenals should have been making. I tried herbs and such for several years but I just didn't get the results I needed until I got on the medicine. I was on it for about 9 months, actually during the entire pregnancy of my third child.

 
At December 16, 2011 at 10:57 PM , Blogger cxjcarey said...

all I can say is thank you and the Lord bless you

 
At December 20, 2011 at 6:01 PM , Blogger Jessica said...

Thank you for this post. It's been a light in a very dreary season over here. It's been a hard few months with my 4 kids 9, 4, 2, 8months, and I'm expecting again. I have a very challenging 4 year old, and I'm finding it very hard to get through these days. Your words have been an encouragement, thank you

 
At December 27, 2011 at 9:05 PM , Blogger nena said...

thanks! I needed that.. I am a mom to a 18, 15, 9 and an almost 2 year.

 

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