Wednesday, October 26, 2011

31 Days of femininity: Being feminine towards your children



Do you consider yourself feminine towards your children? This isn't something I stop and think about very often. I strive to be feminine towards my husband and towards other people, but my children?

I considered the reasons why I would want to show femininity towards my children, and here are a few I came up with.

1. To model being a woman. Of course that seems obvious, but I mean a true lady. I want to give my boys a clear vision of what a woman content to be a female looks like, and model that as an example for my daughters.

2. To teach my boys that they are to be caring, considerate, and helpful towards women in general. If I walk around with a rough and tough attitude all the time, how they will ever learn that women are different than men or that they (wonders of all wonders) actually need and, in their better moments, appreciate their help. Many women today are fond of boasting about their independence from men and how unnecessary a man's help is to them (I'll open the door for myself, thank-you!). Well, in my house I let my boys open the door for me, not because I am incapable, but because it helps to instill nobility in my sons. It serves as yet another reminder that they should provide for, protect, and prefer women before themselves in even the little things.

3. To train my daughters that it's not a sign of weakness to be feminine. That they don't have to fall for the world's examples of what a lady looks like. Femininity always seems to summon the word "weakness" in most women's minds, but it doesn't have to be that way. You can be feminine and yet not fall apart emotionally at the first hint of trouble that comes across your path. 

In our family we do set some clear defined paths. Certain things are "girly" in our house, (such as dolls) but the boys are still welcome to play with their sisters if they want-and they do! Other things are clearly "boy" toys, such as their toy guns, but their younger sister can be found with a toy gun in her hand traipsing after her brothers during a pioneer adventure. More often than not though she is found with a doll or stroller following them. 

I am quick to tell my sons that I can't lift a certain heavy item, I'm waiting for papa to get home so he can help me. Now that my oldest son is getting stronger, he has started helping me move heavy items, etc. and is a huge help! I know it makes him feel good to know that he is strong enough to help his mama! 

These are a few ways I try to pass on femininity towards my children. What are some practical ways you try to display to your children the differences between masculinity and femininity? I'd love to hear! 

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11 Comments:

At October 26, 2011 at 11:13 AM , Blogger Hidden Treasures said...

Great Post! I love this one!

~ Angela @ Hidden Treasures

 
At October 26, 2011 at 11:25 AM , Blogger Michelle said...

Thankfully, I married a man who had a Biblical view of men and women - even though neither of us were saved when we married.

 
At October 26, 2011 at 12:21 PM , Anonymous Little Natural Cottage said...

Caroline, I LOVE this post! I hadn't really thought of this concept in concrete terms, but you certainly spoke my heart here.

Kristy @ Little Natural Cottage

 
At October 26, 2011 at 1:28 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this article! My sons are now 15 and 13 and 220lbs and 135lbs respectively. They LOVE to help reach things or lift/move things that I am unable or simply prefer not to do. They feel strong, masculine and useful. I have 2 daughters as well, and the trick is to teach the boys to show the same care and concern that they demonstrate towards me to their sisters :D

 
At October 26, 2011 at 2:00 PM , Blogger Jacinda @ Growing Home said...

Great post, Caroline! We've been blessed with both a daughter (2) and a son (7 months) so far and one look at our culture tells speaks to the necessity of raising our girls to be feminine and our boys to be masculine. I appreciate the thoughts you shared about how I can exemplify femininity through my role as a mother. Our children are still very young, but one of the things we've already established is absolutely no cross-dressing, even in jest. Our daughter likes to "help" me fold the laundry and prance around the house in big people clothes. We've taught her that Daddy's clothes are for Daddy only. She's allowed to dress up in Mommy's stuff though an simply adores "wooking pwetty!"

 
At October 26, 2011 at 2:22 PM , Blogger Jen said...

My boys also love to help mama with the things she can't reach/lift (even though they're only 10!)

I never rough house with my boys, not because I see anything seriously wrong with it on occasion, but I just don't have that desire (which I suppose *surprise surprise* is because I'm a female and wasn't wired that way!)

I try to be a good example for my girls, letting my actions speak louder.

Great Post!

~Jen~ http://narrowwaywife.blogspot.com

 
At October 26, 2011 at 3:30 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I grew up as a bit of a tom-boy but am learning to be more feminine. Thank you for challenging me to be more feminine in front of my boys as well.

 
At October 26, 2011 at 3:49 PM , Anonymous Amy @ Raising Arrows said...

Wonderful thoughts, Caroline!

 
At October 27, 2011 at 2:51 PM , Blogger Tiffany said...

What a great post! It's so true that the way we act teaches our children how to behave. And that by acting feminine, we're actually teaching our sons to behave like gentlemen! I let my Little Guy (he's 3), kill the bugs when daddy's not around. He likes to say things like, "Girls don't like bugs. Only boys like bugs." =)

 
At October 29, 2011 at 3:18 PM , Anonymous Shannon said...

I am so glad I found this post. I grew up in a houseful of boys and I never stopped to think that being feminine was more than my long hair and skirts. Its how we enteract with other's especally men.
thanks for posting on this topic

 
At November 1, 2011 at 8:06 PM , Blogger Penopoly said...

How do I do this when I have to be Mom and Dad also... I have three boys who try to walk all over me... ??

 

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