Thursday, October 14, 2010

When things seem to be falling apart...

Don't lose heart...when all around you things seem to be crumbling, and everything around you seems to be black clouds, don't give up.

Even when your daughter is running around for hours upon waking up still in her diaper that she slept in, lunch is crackers and cheese, it takes you all day to clean the house because you are tired and discouraged, DO NOT GIVE IN!

I miss my Mom a lot. Days like today (as described above) are difficult. I have a hard time bonding with my children and experiencing their childhood joys and sorrows, as I just want to go bury my head and cry myself. Then I heap guilt upon myself because I tell myself I'm not being a good enough mother.

Sorrow is natural. Tears are not to be frowned upon.

"To Everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

But guilt is not natural. The Guilt that can come upon us as Mothers most of the time comes from Satan. I was putting my children to bed tonight, and my five year old son told me that Satan mixes things up for us in a mixing bowl. He makes it look good, but will throw in just a little lie, but we take all of it because it looks good or tastes good. I was amazed thinking he came up with that by himself, until I remembered my husband had spent time doing devotions with them while I fixed dinner. :-)

That is a good thing for all of us to remember. How many times do we fall prey to the temptations of the adversary-"Go ahead, yell at your son, he deserves it." "It's OK to be discouraged, what do you have to be thankful for anyway?" Satan loves to whisper these things in our ears, but we must stand strong. We must be victorious.

I think all to often we think of life being perfect if we are victorious. I just read this quote from "The Mom Walk" by Sally Clarkson:

"As Contemporary Christians, we so want our life to be like Cinderella's-and she lived happily ever after. We want rewards-now! We want prosperity and ease of life-now! We want answered prayer and blessed families and peaceful years-now!"

And yet we know that living for Christ does not always bring those Cinderella moments. It can bring raw, heart breaking moments that test our strength, and show our true devotion to God.

I choose to stand triumphant.

Oh not through my strength. But in the strength of my Lord. He is only the reason that I am able to still be doing my daily tasks, and finding joy in life with my precious Mom not here with me. I praise Him for the peace He has brought into my life, and trust that He will see me through all the other refining moments He brings into my life.

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At October 15, 2010 at 10:00 AM , Blogger Grace~The Mommy On the Bus said...

That was EXCELLENT! Thanks so much for writing all that! I'm bookmarking this post!!!

At October 15, 2010 at 10:10 AM , Blogger Caroline said...

Grace, thanks for leaving that comment! That means a lot coming from you! :-)

At October 16, 2010 at 8:16 AM , Blogger Shana said...

I saw the title yesterday and chose to not read it- yesterday was one of those days like you mentioned and crying out to God was my last resort (but should have been my first). As I sat down this morning and read your post, I am thankful to not be alone in this imperfect world where it seems so many make their lives look next to perfect. Thanks for the encouragement and transparency- God has used it greatly on me.


At October 21, 2010 at 2:48 AM , Blogger Laurel said...

My precious mom went to be with the Lord almost 4 years ago. I still remember the days when I didn't know how I could live without my mom, and then I would look into the faces of my little ones! God was so good to give me the comfort that I needed during that season of grief.

I think one of the best ways for me to grieve was to talk about my mom to my children. They still love to hear stories about her and they will even tell me things they remember. They were 6, 4, and 2 when she died, and now God has blessed us with 2 more.

Praying God gives you comfort abundantly during this difficult time in your life.

At October 26, 2010 at 8:32 AM , Blogger Nathan Marr said...

THanks,Carolyn, With 5 littles, 6 and under, I have those days, too!


At April 11, 2011 at 7:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your encouraging post. I especially was comforted by Lauren's comment. My mom is dying of pancreatic cancer. The hospice nurse said she can go the end of this week or next. I have been so sad and want to stay in my bed and cry. But I can't because I'm a mommy to two sets of twins ages 6 and 2. I am sad their grandma won't see them grow up here on earth. Thanks- Suzy

At October 12, 2011 at 4:40 PM , Blogger Michelle said...

Thank you for writing this and I love what your son explained about the mixing bowl. I absolutely have been overwhelmed with these types of days. When my oldest daughter passed away in April, I knew I had to be strong for my other three children, but some days all I could do was cry. Then guilt followed. As the months pass, I'm able to resume an almost normal schedule, but sometimes the tears take over and I realized that's okay too. We are human and hearts that love are hearts that cry.


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