Teaching Little Girl's To Be Modest

You might think I'm not qualified to write about this subject, seeing as my own daughter is only three years old. Surprisingly, though, I have already had quite a few conversations come up with my daughter. But what I really feel that qualifies me to write about this is the fact that I was raised by a Mother who instilled in me the desire and the knowledge concerning dressing modestly. All of the priceless lessons she passed on to me remain with me to this day, and I rely on them as I raise my own two daughter's now.

Some might be very intimidated when they discover they have a daughter to raise. The world gives us horrifying examples of what can happen to young ladies as they get older, and it puts fear into our hearts. I am actually ecstatic that I have daughters to raise, and I want to pass along some of our vision for raising them for God.

From the time Carrianna was a baby, I have been reciting to her Proverbs 31 - as I change her diaper, get her dressed, do the dishes with her, hold her on the couch, driving her in the car. Basically anytime I think of it, I recite it to her. Proverbs 31 is so powerful in creating a vision for our daughters, which is ultimately what they need - vision. I have also read her the book "God's Wisdom For Little Girl's: Virtue and Fun From Proverbs 31" by Elizabeth George. That is a very sweet book.

I talk to Carrianna about modesty, though I haven't gone into an explanation about what modesty is {after all, she is only three!}. Rather, as we are out shopping, or trying on clothes in the dressing room, I will tell her that "this dress looks modest" or "that shirt is very immodest" I do not do this in a judgmental way, that is, my emphasis is not towards the women who put the dress on display, but the mode of dress itself. That being said, I am trying to assist my daughter in making definite judgments when it comes to modesty. It amazes me how much she has picked up on already, and many times she shows me things that are not modest now. If I try on a long dress that she likes, she is quick to say excitedly "That looks modest Mama!"

As she gets older, I will be talking to her about how modesty has to start in the heart. If girls do not acquire a modest spirit or a heart that longs to please God, than you will have a hard time keeping their focus on dressing modestly as they enters their teen years. Don't think it impossible for an older girl to make the switch from wearing jeans to dresses though. It can be done through lots of prayer and heart to heart talks. Read my sister's testimony here on how she went to all dresses at the age of 16!

I'm trying to instill a feminine spirit in my daughter, not just a modest attitude. I'm trying to raise her to recognize the differences between boys and girls. I want her to delight in being a girl just as I was taught to do growing up. I was very girly, {and still am!} and loved dolls, Anne of Green Gables, waltzing through the house {dare I admit I still like doing that?} and reading books on being a young lady. More importantly though, I'm want to instill in her a desire to be a godly handmaiden of the Lord, to want to be a wife and mother in this career driven world.

We dressed extremely conservative when I was going through my young adolescent years. Mom only knew how to sew one simple jumper pattern, and that is what we all wore! Whether I was jumping on the trampoline, hiking in the woods, gardening, or cleaning house, I wore a dress. The only time I would wear jeans is the rare times I rode a horse at a friends house (I'm scared of horses, so I didn't often get on one!).

I did get my ears pierced at 13 and wore some simple gold posts. I also wore a necklace every once in a while. I never wore make-up until a few years ago. We'll be getting into all this in much more detail in the "She Wore Skirts" Series...

So what does a modest little girl look like?

You might be surprised at my answer.

I don't always dress my daughter in dresses.

There, I said it. :-)

I know some people dress their daughters from the day they are born in dresses, but my husband and I have not felt the need to do so. When our baby girls are little, they live in sleepers. Olivia is 16 months, and has spent most of the winter in sleepers, and wears dresses to church. It's just easier. And honestly, at this age there is nothing you are trying to cover up to be modest about! Carrianna was given a lot of hand me downs last year, and played in pants and shirts, and we ran errands with her dressed that way. This spring and summer I have only been buying her dresses, and I told my husband I wanted to slowly start trying to switch to her only wearing dresses. I don't want her getting used to wearing pants, so my goal is to just make it through the first few years of learning to crawl, walk, etc. and then start wearing primarily dresses.

On a practical note...

Little girl's actually become very immodest in a dress. Most girls I know like to pull up on their dresses, showing their undergarments to the world. :) Their activity and play is also a lot more clumsy than it will be in later years. They roll and somersault and jump and twirl all with no consideration as to whether or not their dress is doing an adequate job of covering themselves. For this reason, I have one pair of white pantaloons that Carrianna wears under her dresses, and during the winter she wore a lot of cotton tights. Leggings also work very well and accommodate wearing dresses nicely.

An easy pattern to make is McCalls 4505, which includes short and long bloomers. It is out of print, but you might be able to find it used on Ebay. Candle On The Hill sells a Bloomer Pattern also. There is also an easy tutorial here for making them.

Soft cotton shorts also work well, and many times you can find these at garage sales for .25-50 cents! I would just get solid colored ones that somewhat coordinate with your daughter's clothes. We will be doing this a lot this summer as well.

Most skirts are not long enough for my standards so I make them for Carrianna's. Here are a few tutorials online that look sweet.

Tiered Skirt

Twirly Skirt

Ruffled Skirts

Everyday Skirt

I like the Gracie Ruffled Skirt Pattern from Marie Madeline as well.

Dress Patterns

Here are a few of my favorite dress patterns:

McCalls 4432

McCalls 5966 -I would make it longer than this.

Godly Resources

Here are some of the best resources I have found for teaching daughters biblical truths about modesty, femininity, and their roles as women.

God's Wisdom For Little Girls-A sweet book for toddlers up to probably age eight.

Beautiful Girlhood by Karen Andreola. I read this book over and over again, starting probably at the age of 10. It helped me so much!

The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood-Perfect to use if you want to do a Mother/Daughter study together.

Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy MacDonald-This is a must have book, it is so excellent! You can also purchase it at Vision Forum here.

Polished Cornerstones published by Doorpost, is an wonderful aid for middle school through high school. I did this during my high school years, and it greatly blessed me.

Mother, by Kathleen Norris is a novel that will teach your daughters how important mothers really are, and make them long to be one!

Joyfully At Home by Jasmine Baucham is a newly published book that is excellent for older daughters. I read through some of it recently, and found it very encouraging.

Be sure to check out our sponsor, Joyfully Sewn Designs for modest little girl clothes!